The Unspoken Reality of Women's Daily Vigilance

We may not always get her name pronunciation right, but Saoirse Ronan just made a point on *The Graham Norton Show* that we won’t forget. Sitting alongside Eddie Redmayne, Denzel Washington, and Paul Mescal, she shattered a bubble of male privilege with a single comment.

When Redmayne joked about learning to use a phone as a weapon, which he learned in his training for Day of the Jackal, the male guests found it hilarious. But when Mescal quipped, “Who’s actually going to think of that, in the middle of an attack." He patted his pockets, held up his hand and said to his imaginary assilant, "Can you hold on a second?" So funny!

Ronan interrupted: “That’s what girls have to think about all the time.”

The moment of silence from the men was striking. Dead air. Confusion. They scrabbled around for something to say. It underscored a deep truth: too many men are unaware of women’s constant vigilance in daily life. Every woman you know is on high alert—at all hours, in any location, with any person. We don’t have the luxury of letting our guard down, and that includes subtly managing our alertness so as not to attract unwanted attention or aggression.

We have all experienced moments of crossing the road, taking an imaginary phone call, avoiding eye contact, stopped to look in a shop window. Anything to avoid confrontation or possible aggression. We can't trust you. We don't know who's lovely or who's an arsehole. So, we use avoidance tactics that come naturally to us because no one tells us this. We learn it naturally, or perhaps there is some innate need for distance from men.

We do this without you realising it. It's subtle and careful and discreet. Often subconsciously done. I grew up with 3 younger brothers. I've seen the aggression that can appear from a seemingly passive male. That's not to say women can't be aggressive but the difference is that women don't generally rape or beat up men. I know t happens but only 5 to 10% of rapes, murders and assualts are done by women.

Saoirse’s remark is a reminder to reflect on this reality and acknowledge what many women face as part of their everyday routine, as they move through the world with vigilance most men cannot imagine. Thanks to her, we’re all reminded that safety isn't a joke, and hopefully, it’s a moment that sticks.